The way these marriages get arranged, however, in the fast-changing urban centres is changing with the times. Not every family is that supportive or progressive,” adds Soundarya.Arranged marriages continue to be a popular tradition in the country, with a majority of men and women between the ages of 17 and 25 in major metros such as New Delhi and Mumbai approving of them.
“But that is one in 10 people, exactly like the show. Eventually, she walks away with the note that her business is more fulfilling than a relationship. Indian Matchmaking is the story of Ankita Bansal, an independent business owner who refuses to fit into the moulds set by Sima Taparia. They are not the first preference while looking for a bride or groom,” she adds. Young divorcees or people who have called off engagements are still greeted with silence. Barely 1% of my clients would want an inter-faith marriage. People still prefer matches within their circle. “Religion, wealth, class, caste and language play a significant role in an arranged marriage. However, there are certain things that are still the same. Unlike earlier times, today the girl or the boy have the complete say in whether it is a yes or no,” she says. In this way, the girl and boy are more open and the family’s expectations do not burden them. For instance, we ask the girl and boy to meet four or five times before getting their families involved. “Matchmakers are initiating some of these changes. Of course, there were ideological differences, but they were presented and discussed in a dignified manner,” she adds.Īmi Shah, an Ahmedabad-based matchmaker who has been running Parichay Marriage Bureau for 18 years, has been noticing small but significant changes in her clientele. “The families that I met were respectful and considerate about my dreams and career. “Indian matchmaking does not represent all millennials I have been in this process and barely encountered such situations,” says Shruti Taneja, an engineer who is a singer by profession from Delhi. Not everyone who is opting for match-made marriages has problematic experiences to share. Mills and Boons, even in reality people prefer these type of guys,” he says. They were least interested in knowing me or my family. Recalling one of his earlier meetings with a girl’s family, Delhi-based Nakul Sethi says, “All that their family wanted to know was my annual package and whether I own a house or a car. The process is equally harrowing for men. While the guys bring pay packets, career and family background to the table, all that is considered about me is good looks and behaviour,” she says. But when asked if his son was willing to do the same, his father thought I was too demanding. In the course of that conversation, the father mentioned that I would have to ‘sacrifice’ my “A well-to-do family approached us and I was talking to the guy’s father for the first time. Shraddha Kaswe, a 25-year-old classical singer based in Karnataka’s Dharwad, recently created her profile on a popular matchmaking website. Indian Matchmaking may seem stereotypical, awkward and conservative, but it is relatable: many millennials who are looking at an arranged marriage realise that the process is deeply problematic. Now, I am the girl ‘who has too many expectations’, but honestly I am okay with it,” she adds. I decided not to mince words when I told the families that having a child is optional for me, and I would not let my career suffer to ‘take care’ of the house. “Six years into the matchmaking process, I decided not to be a submissive recipient. The whole experience, she says, made her go from being happy-go-lucky to a quiet and sad person as everyone just kept telling her she was not good enough. Like Sima Taparia, everyone around me felt compelled to tell me that I had to adjust and for a few years I did try,” says Soundarya. I was not fair enough or not a skilled cook, or not talkative. “Every rejection made me question my self-worth. Soundarya says she has met nearly 30 ‘prospective suitors’ during that time but none of them worked out.
The 37-year-old’s family has been looking for a potential groom for her, for almost a decade now.
#ARRANGED MARRIAGE MATCHMAKER PROFESSIONAL#
The show just brings to screen the conversations that usually happen behind closed doors,” says P Soundarya, an IT professional based in Bengaluru. Go through the matrimonial ads in newspapers and you will see that most of them want a ‘fair and tall girl’. Indian Matchmaking as much as you want, but that is the true nature of society for many of us.
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